The RAMP Mindset

Ivan Aivazovsky, The Ninth Wave

Reject all mediocre pleasures. That's the mindset. Is it extreme? I don't think so. The higher your aims, the higher your outcomes. Rejections can be done simply and gently in a way that centers love and freedom. It doesn't have to be hard.

When I say mediocre I am referring to its interpretations as poor, inadequate, unacceptable. Definitions of mediocre refer to it as middling, adequate, ordinary. No. Mediocre is bad.

How does the RAMP mindset work? When a mediocre pleasure is offered to you, you do not eat it, you do not watch it, you do not place your genitals on it. You do something else instead that is not a mediocre pleasure. Maybe you do nothing, although doing nothing could itself be a mediocre pleasure. What is important is the awareness of the mediocre offering followed by the refusal. Notice, reject. Notice, reject. Notice, reject. Repetition trains the mental and physical moves required so that over time the rejections become as effortless as any other invisible habit in your life.

What is a mediocre pleasure? Ultimately that's personal information, it’s impossible to know from the outside. What is mediocre for one person might be nourishing or life-affirming for another. I cannot decide this for you, you cannot decide this for me. But there are some techniques you can play with to know this for yourself.

• Ask yourself: Does this thing serve my higher self? Does this thing serve my future self? Have I regretted doing this thing before?

• Think about other qualities associated with people who do the thing - are they admirable or detestable?

• Talk about the thing with people you trust.

• Notice how you feel immediately after doing the thing, and a few hours later, and the next day.

Frequency, scale, and context are three measures that can help identify mediocre pleasures. A glass of wine consumed twice a month is not the same as a glass of wine consumed twice a day. Twenty minutes of scrolling is not the same as three hours of scrolling. A cigarette smoked among friends at a party is not the same as a cigarette smoked alone.

How to be happy or enjoy life without mediocre pleasures? If the pleasure has been automatic or load-bearing, it's helpful to find a replacement pleasure so that the transition is easier. In moments of temptation, you can reach for the non-mediocre resource, but be careful that the replacement does not itself become a mediocre pleasure.

The RAMP mindset is an ongoing practice, there is no end state. It offers the opportunity to enjoy stillness and restraint. You can set it down when circumstances call to set it down, and you can pick it back up. Can you pause, even when it's uncomfortable? What treasures might be waiting for you in the gap between craving and indulgence?