Three Anecdotes
Giorgione, The Three Philosophers
She struggles to leave conversations when she wants to. She sits in silent discomfort, waiting for the other person to exhaust themself. When she told this to me, I told her that I’m not going to end our conversation, she has to do it. We talked for a little longer about autonomy and storytelling, and then she told me that she’s going to move along. I put on a sad face and started fake crying. It was a miserably poor performance deserving of a Razzie award... and it worked! What the fuck? It actually got her to stay in our conversation for another few minutes! We laughed at how dumb it was that that was effective. She expressed her resolve to leave again and was able to overcome another round of my false despair. I was happy to have helped facilitate a bit of growth for her.
He was boarding a plane, and the sight of a man with a turban gave him a panic attack. He was simultaneously fearful and bewildered by his fear. It didn’t make any sense, he wasn’t racist. But his body wasn’t beholden to reason. He stood in the aisle waiting for someone to stow their luggage, and he stared at the turbaned man, he couldn’t help it. He walked to his seat near the back and tried to sleep. Then, he felt a hand in his own. When he opened his eyes, the man with a turban was there, on one knee, communicating what he couldn’t say because he didn’t speak English. The touching from the man with a turban disintegrated his nerves. Even though he owed the turbaned man everything, and the turbaned man owed him nothing, the turbaned man offered a gesture of humanity: I am safe, you are safe.
A sensation of anxiety, revealed to lack substance upon examination during the drive over. Mutual delight in seeing each other when walking from the car to the house. Awe and reverence for the effort on display. Declarations of identity. One-word affirmations. Slowness, gentleness, ease. Helping the snake shed its skin. Coldness, resolve, persistence. Seclusion, and then one visitor, and then another. Careful and practiced intensity. Gathering and gratitudes.